FEEL EVERYTHING

FEEL EVERYTHING
The Power of Being Human
Personal Story by Elizabeth Blake-Thomas

​My heart is broken, and that’s okay because it’s my superpower.

As I sat explaining to someone how my heart was broken, they gave me a look that was close to feeling sorry for me. They were obviously surprised when I smiled and explained that this was a good thing, that I was lucky to have a broken heart and that, actually, it meant I had a superpower.

That superpower is the ability to connect with people on a level that is so deep and profound that there is a group of us in the “grief club” who can assist the rest of the world with real, true feelings.

The fact that I was fortunate enough to have someone in my life whom I loved so deeply, and that allows me to feel such sadness, just shows how deep my emotions are.

So what does this superpower mean? Well, all superpowers should be used for good. The definition of a superpower is a special or extraordinary ability far greater than what is considered normal. Examples of superpowers might be flight, super strength, telekinesis, or teleportation.

Obviously, no one is going to see my superpower reveal itself in day-to-day actions. I won’t suddenly need to use it to save the world, or will I?

That’s exactly what it represents. It’s so powerful that it can have an effect on the world. It could show itself as empathy, love, kindness, peace, or understanding.

Instead of thinking that we need to “fix” our broken hearts, what if we embraced this feeling? Allowed it to actually be as powerful as it has the potential to be?

I wonder what would happen if I wore the t-shirt that said my heart is broken. How would people respond? Would they stay away from me? Or would others come towards me and hug me?

Would my openness and vulnerability be an opening for connection? Imagine a world in which we all said how we were actually feeling. When the person serving us coffee asks how we are, what would happen if we said, “Actually, I’m sad, or exhausted, or frustrated”?

I’m going to be honest with you right now. Every day I am sad; every day I wake up and miss Chai’s physical presence. Every day I am reminded of what I’ve lost and wonder if I could have done things differently. I replay what happened and wonder if I was a reason that it happened.

I also smile at my daughter every day and feel a swelling of love in my heart for her, for her support and growth. So as well as sadness, I feel love. I am tired. I am still grieving. I vacillate between planning a lot and planning nothing. I realize I am human.

​I want to give you a permission slip to also feel human. Be honest about how you’re feeling right now. Whatever it is, it’s okay. Maybe you have a hidden superpower? Could you be brave and share your vulnerability with someone?

Could we be brave enough to say it out loud?

I AM SAD!!!!!!!!!!
I HAVE A BROKEN HEART!!!!!!!!!!!

It feels really good. It makes me smile to think that I loved so deeply and that her presence is still here every day. It is so strong it inspired my next book. It was originally called Life, Love, Loss: Lessons from My Dog, and it discussed anticipatory grief.

After Chai passed, I exploded with true, raw, grief-filled emotions and wrote them all down. This inspired the new title, My Dog Is Dead and So Am I, an intense, raw flow of grief revealed in real time. It is so powerful I can’t read my words; it is so vulnerable.

This book is my superpower to share with the world.

So please feel, be human, and show your superpower. ∎