LIKE THE WIND

LIKE THE WIND
Finding Strength in the Unpredictable Realities of MS
Exclusive Interview with Julie Blew
Featured in 'Innerviews'
Hosted by Allié McGuire

​Multiple sclerosis does not arrive politely or predictably. For Julie Blew, it arrived through confusion, fear, and a growing realization that something inside her body was changing in ways no one could yet explain. What followed was a journey that challenged her trust in her body but ultimately deepened her understanding of resilience, intuition, and what it means to keep moving forward.

ALLIÉ: Let’s go back. Before the diagnosis, before the ER visits, and the doctors who didn’t quite listen, there was just life, yoga, running, raising your kids, moving through the world in a body you trusted. The question to start is: when you think back to that version of yourself, who was she? And what did you perhaps take for granted about your body before MS began to rewrite the rules?
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JULIE: Who was I before my diagnosis? To be honest with you, I was incredibly lost. I realize that now emotionally. Basically, I thought I was on top of everything since I discovered yoga 23 years ago. I am not the same person I was. I’m a better person now than I was. But I was kind of flailing through life. I was raising my two children alone. I had several other relationships aside from my ex. And at some point, I realized I was just doing it wrong. So the diagnosis came and kind of changed everything for me.

​ALLIÉ: So, I want to switch gears quickly to your book. Let’s talk about these pages of you in ‘like the wind… not the color. The beginning of your MS journey unfolds through what you describe as a series of unfortunate events from the illness, to the colonoscopy, to the strange neurological symptoms that followed, and that deep gut instinct that something was wrong, even when people around you weren’t seeing it yet. So what was that period like emotionally, living in this space between knowing something was wrong and being believed? What was that like?

JULIE: It was terrifying, to be honest with you. I’m very strong physically, and when my body started to break down step by step, literally, I was really scared. I was really scared. The doctors kept telling me I was okay, and they were doing tests. Being a yoga instructor at the time, I think it was 13 years, I teach people to listen to their bodies, right? If I offer a pose to you and you have a bad shoulder, don’t do that, because then you’re going to blame me, and it’s not my fault. I was scared. I was very scared. I thought I was going to die. I had no idea what was going on. I was seeing someone at the time who I thought was going to be my end game, and it turned out not to be the case, but he kept telling me that I had a herniated disc or a pinched nerve because that’s what he was living with. And I was like, no, I don’t think that’s it. It was very scary. It was really scary.

ALLIÉ: So let’s fast forward a bit. There’s a moment in your story where the fear becomes undeniable. It’s when your body starts doing things you can’t control, when numbness and weakness creep in, and you find yourself walking into the ER alone, terrified of what might be happening inside your own brain. What did that moment teach you about vulnerability and, on the flip side, about the strength you perhaps didn’t know you had?

JULIE: Yeah, I had no idea I had this kind of strength. I mean, yeah, I can do handstands and backbends and stuff like that, but that was terrifying too, walking into the ER and then not getting answers. But I was relieved that it wasn’t a stroke or a brain tumor because when my whole left side went numb, I was literally two blocks from the hospital. It was very scary. To be honest with you, I was scared even after I heard that I might have MS because I didn’t know what it was. I had no idea.

ALLIÉ: Let’s talk more about MS. It has a way, you and I both know, of forcing people into an entirely new relationship with their bodies. For you, someone who lived through movement from yoga, to running, to teaching, how did you begin to rebuild trust with a body that suddenly felt unpredictable?

JULIE: I remember when I got home from the hospital. I went to Mayo in Rochester, Minnesota to get diagnosed. My boyfriend at the time took me to the airport. I got on a plane, got off the plane, got home, and the next morning, for whatever reason, I thought I was going to go running.

So I put on my running shoes because I decided I’m not going to let this take me down. I asked the neurologist at Mayo a couple of questions. I said, will hanging upside down and the blood rushing to my head affect the lesions? He said no. I said, will the heat melt my myelin? He said no. And I said, can I continue? He said, you can do whatever you were doing before, as long as your body allows you to do that.

So when I got home, I don’t know what it was… maybe watching my father fight for his life for 15 years, doing everything he possibly could to prolong the damage he inflicted on himself. That made me a warrior. He was a warrior. So yeah, I put on my running shoes the next day. I didn’t run. I walked downstairs and thought, okay.

I actually went back to yoga the next day, to hot yoga. I remember getting on my mat. When the doctor said I could do whatever I was doing before, I kind of took myself on as a research project. I started journaling. I didn’t want to submit or succumb. I wanted to be strong and fight. I didn’t want to lose my yoga practice.

I remember laughing at myself like, Miss Badass Yoga Instructor, you’ve got a battle on your hands. And every day after that, I would move until my body said stop, and then I would stop. That’s how it went for probably the first 17 months. It wasn’t just one attack that went away. It was every day doing everything I could to make sure I could walk.

I didn’t want to lose my yoga practice. Running became more important to me than it had ever been before because I was just a casual runner. But after this, I was like, I don’t want to lose the use of my legs. It just happened. I don’t know why. I didn’t have a lot of support. I still don’t have a lot of support.

But I have two children, and they were just starting their young adult lives at the time. I didn’t want them to have to take care of me. I still don’t. They’re my reason. I do everything for them, even though they’re grown now.

ALLIÉ: That’s really beautiful. There is one more question that I wanted to ask you today, Julie. Today, you’re not only living with MS, you’re writing about it. Your book, you’re sharing it, you’re helping others feel less alone in their own uncertainty. When someone newly diagnosed, as we all once were, picks up your book and hears your story, what do you hope they feel in that moment that maybe you didn’t feel at the beginning of your journey?

JULIE: That this is something you can live with. It’s a life presence, not a death sentence, number one. Although it’s very challenging and it changes not just from day to day, but from moment to moment, you can get through it and you can have a full life. It looks a little different.

I hope people find themselves in my pages. They laugh, they cry. There are a lot of f-bombs in there. But it wasn’t just a story about my diagnosis. It was a story about running too.

Hope isn’t lost. It isn’t lost. You can fight this. You can battle it. It’s not easy. My biggest thing as a yoga instructor is when your body talks, you listen to it. When it says stop, you stop. When it says go, you go. It’s when people ignore those symptoms and signs that trouble ensues. It’s not just physical. It’s emotional and mental too. With a positive attitude and intentional actions, you can move forward.

I didn’t know what was ahead of me. To be honest with you, I still don’t know what’s ahead of me. But I definitely feel a lot stronger physically. I’m probably less strong emotionally at this point in my life, but there are other reasons for that. I hope people find hope and know that they can have a full life. You’re going to get dinged and knocked down. But when your body says lay down, you lay down. When your body says go, you go. That’s how I do it every single day.

ALLIÉ: I love that. And I love how you just show up. Thank you for showing up the way that you do, for keeping it sassy, for keeping it sexy, for keeping it you. I think it inspires the rest of us not to ask permission, but just to go and to do. You’re a living, breathing example of that that I very much respect. I just want to thank you for, again, showing up like you do.

JULIE: Thank you so much. Those words mean a lot to me. I appreciate that.

ALLIÉ: And another reason I need to thank you… for that Because I Can medal hanging around your neck, my goodness. Thank you for running with me.

JULIE: Because I can. I do all these things because I can. I put something on the internet today, and I do get a lot of backlash from some of the MS community when I post these pictures. What I want to say to you guys is, if you could handstand, you would too. I’m not going to stop doing it. As long as I can use my body and move my body, I will. ∎

​Find & follow Julie on Instagram:
@fumsinc

Learn more about her & her book:
www.fumsinc.org